Wednesday, 6 February 2019

Brexit and Me: The Divorce


Since starting an MA in Creative Writing last September, I’ve felt, week-by-week, much calmer and, dare I say it, more sane than I have in a long time.  Personal woes aside (minimum wage job, debt, home falling to bits, loneliness, etc), over the last few years, I have felt an acute deepening of my existential angst and an ire in my misanthropy that was beginning to make me ill(er).

I have mental health issues as it stands but this was something else.  I felt permanently irate and more worried, sad, weepy, anxious and… suicidal… than I had in years.  AT and ABOUT everything and everyone.  Had the happy prescription pills stopped working?

A holiday to France in September, just before beginning university, woke me up to some of what was going on, though I already had my suspicions.  A break away from my life helped me notice a few things and one of them was that I’d become Brexit weary.  I had Brexitisis, was Brexitphobic.

As a passionate Remainer in the Brexit debacle, I realised I’d spent about three years concentrating on Brexit, debating Brexit, reading about Brexit, listening to friend’s rant about Brexit, arguing with strangers on Social Media over Brexit, watching rolling news and generally being weighed down by Brexit, Brexit, Brexit.  I’d felt I had to be involved.  It felt, IT IS, important.

I over invested.

As soon as I met up with certain friends for fun they’d be straight into it, had I seen the news, what about this speech, the legalities, how the BBC is now left-biased, how the BBC is now right-biased, how people are SO STUPID, on and on and on.  I was worn out by it all.  I’d spent years of my life being frustrated and focusing my brain and my energy on something I hate.  I hated Brexit back then and I hate it now (for very different reasons).  Of course, I STILL hate that we were lied to, that Cameron’s ‘advisory’ referendum is now constantly referred to as the Will of the People (when only about a third of the populace voted for it) and by a woman who vigorously campaigned for Remain.  I STILL hate that poor people have been conned by the über rich into thinking they’re men of people.  I hate it all.  The lies, the hypocrisy, the decimation of our democracy but more than all of that… I hate what it’s done to US.  I saw it happening in myself and I see it still happening to friends.  An insidious, angry, all-consuming arrogance that WE are right and everyone else is just stupid, not just of a different opinion, STUPID, no matter what side of the debate we’re on.  I’ve seen sides to people I’ve know for years that are incongruous with who I thought they were at their core.  Brexit lifted veils I wish it hadn’t.  As the shroud slowly rose we saw the racist underbelly of our nation crawl out from its hideout.  The rise of the alt-right, suddenly given oxygen by the hateful nationalist rhetoric and isolationist propaganda vomited out by The Daily Mail and it’s siblings.  Conversely, another lifted veil showed usually rational, calm, progressive, kind people as frothing-at-the-mouth, opinionated, prejudice-spewing, fiends, as uncomfortable to be around as the xenophobes.

I have two friends, a Remainer and a Brexiteer.  Both insist they’re never watching the BBC again (except for the good drama’s, of course).  Both claim that its news reporting is biased, one to the right and the other to the left (you guess which thinks what).  All I, in all humility, can surmise from this is that both are so blinded and blinkered by their own beliefs (a symptom of Brexitisis) that they can’t see straight and that the Beeb must indeed be reasonably balanced.  How can two people claim it promotes an opposing bias?  I’m sure, having gawped at BBC rolling news for the best part of three years (since Brexit and Trump started rearing their terrifying heads) that the BBC does its best in what we all know are the most confusing and complex times in generations.  I haven’t had my opinions changed by its apparent bias, either way.  Yes, irrelevant Farage is interviewed a lot considering he’s no longer leader of any party but there are often Remainers on too.  The Papers and Dateline London, I find, are two particularly well-balanced slots.  And, anybody with reasonable intellect can tell which BBC presenters lean which way and, like those who bothered to vote in the referendum, about half ooze a Remain bent and the other half a Brexiteer slant.  I suppose, if you’re furiously staunch in your opinion, you might notice the ‘enemy’ more than the ‘ally’.

Anyway, to the MA.  Having had something other than Brexit on which to focus my brain, I feel so much better.  I don't miss obsessively watching the rolling news, scrolling through Social Media, or hearing the everyone-is-stupid-except-me attitude I'd started noticing in myself and my friends. I'm now focused on something I really love rather than something I hate and, am healthier for it.  I’m not ignoring Brexit, I still sometimes watch the news, retweet the odd Brexit related item and sign the occasional petition but I’m not obsessing.  I’ve come off Facebook completely and have had a break from friendships that were affecting my mood and personhood adversely.  I’ve read more books and done more writing than I have in YEARS and, it’s paid off.  I got my first grade back last month, 75%.  I was hoping for anything above 60% so was over-the-moon.

Sometimes, important things overshadow the REALLY important things like, mental health, peace of mind, personal growth and friendships.

Brexit has already broken so much of my country and will probably rupture the fabric of what we, the UK, are even more in the coming years.  However, I won’t let it break me.  Not anymore.